Pirates Vs Vampires
by Dewi Swann
Summary: A story based on "The Vampire Club" by Voltaire... Hope you enjoy.


**Chapter One: The Road Less Traveled…**

There in a field of grass, was a man asleep with a triangular black hat to cover his eyes. He wore a tattered brown vest, the ends held down by a black sash tied to his waist. He also had on a pair of tan pants torn at the ends. On his sash was a scabbard, carrying a scimitar. He snored loudly, and the hat flopped off his face, revealing black hair nearly covering a pair of glasses and an eye patch. The eye that was not covered with a patch was the color of amber, and was clear as his eye snapped open.

He did a little flip into the air, and landed on the pads of his feet. He looked around cautiously, and leaned down to pick up his hat. That was when he had heard a yell. He raised his head quickly and spotted a figure in a panda hoodie up in the air, with short sword in hand.

He threw his hat, blocking the figures view as he jumped to the air also, pulling out his scimitar and readying himself for the blow. Then the figure slashed through his hat suddenly, straight towards his head. He dodged in the nick of time, rolling to the side saying, "That was my favorite hat. Now it's serious." He pounced forward, spinning the blade in a complex fashion.

The mysterious person raised their sword and blocked just in time, as there was a ring of clashing metal. But they were not faster than he, as he twisted his scimitar as it hit the person's blade, slipping past and slashing a deep gash in their arm. The stranger pulled back, and said, "Dammit Pi. Why did you have to cut me so deep?" And with that, the figure sat down and started pulling gauze from some pockets.

"Well, Pan, I wasn't the one waiting to kill someone right after they woke up." Pi replied, sitting down as well. Pan pulled down their hoodie, revealing shoulder length crimson hair, and electric blue eyes that told you she would start forest fires because she felt a bit chilly.

Pan stood up and said defensively, "Hey, I was planning on killing you in your sleep, I just wasn't on time."

"Oh yes, that makes all the difference," spoke Pi sarcastically. "You still owe me a new hat."

Pan reached for his hand and helped him up. She put her hoodie back up to cover her face, as most outlaws try to do, and pointed to the west. Off in the distance lay a large town, the next visit in their journey. She told him, "I'll pay for the new one when we get there. Where is 'there' anyway?"

Pi looked in the distance and mumbled something incoherent. Pan asked to repeat himself and he replied, "We're going to a place they call the Vampire Club."

**Chapter Two: Zom-Zom the zombie raver**

A long dirt road stretched out before Pi and Pan, overlooking the steadily closer city. The city could have been capital worthy, if not for the crime. It was a town that called forth crime as hot days brought on wasps. Once, it had been a proud and healthy land, but this unfortunately led thieves to steal. This led to drugs and alcohols becoming all the more popular, as thieves are known to enjoy these things. The extra work polluted the place, making it too awful for even the lowliest of people to want. So the gothic hordes took this land in the closest form of happiness possible for them.

"What is the name of this place again?" Asked Pan, trudging her feet, not wanting to be here. She would rather have been beating up some old people right about now.

Pi turned to her and said, "Nobody knows what it was originally called, as its name has been changed by the Goths. They now call it Aermaz- the city of the beasts."

Pan looked as if she couldn't care less, but replied with the question, "And why are we going there? To some club, no less." At this, Pi paused and stood as Pan walked past before she noticed and did a one-eighty.

He looked grave as he said, "I've heard there was someone there, and it's someone I want to talk to." Pan knew that when he said "talk to", he meant kill, or maim. She didn't know much of his childhood, as they had met when they were teenagers. Whenever she tried to ask about his past, he snapped and walked away. So she finally gave up the questioning.

Before anyone could say anything else, there was the sound of a large explosion, far off past a large hill. Pi and Pan looked at each other, and ran towards the noise.

As they reached the top of the hill, something odd came to view.

There, where part of the road had once been, there was now a large pit. At the bottom of the pit was a strange creature. It was green, and as tall as a human, but it had no arms. Instead, it had four insect-like legs at the end of its body.

Pi and Pan ran down to the edge of the pit, when they heard "Don't get near him!"

They turned as they saw a man lying near the other end of the pit. He raised himself up, revealing that he had lost his arm, apparently in the explosion. He walked around the pit, and found his arm next to Pi and Pan. He picked it up and placed it back to his shoulder, where it stuck. He looked at them and said, "Hey, I'm Zom-Zom. I'm a Zombie Raver."

Now that he was near, they saw that his long hair had been dyed bright green, popping out against his pale grey skin. He wore no shirt, but had on faded jeans, with a rainbow belt, and green shoes. On his head, he wore thick goggles with green and yellow spiral lenses, and around his neck was a neon green scarf. He was truly an odd sight.

He stood next to them and said, "As I was saying before, don't go near him. He blows up whenever someone gets near him, I call him Cree, cuz' he creeps up behind me. Apparently, I'm the only person in the whole world that this living bomb wants to kill." With that, Zom-Zom turned towards the pit, as Cree was not there. "Dammit! He always does that!" cried out Zom-Zom in frustration.

Pi looked at this whole scene in an odd calm, and finally said, "I'm Pi, and this is Pan. So why are you out here anyway?" He completely looked over the fact that a giant firecracker with legs was on the loose. He was like that occasionally.

Zom-Zom started walking in the direction of the city, while they followed. As he did this he began his story.

"When I was fifteen, I got run over by a car. This is where my story begins. At my funeral, a lot of people I didn't know showed up. They all had pale skin and bright clothes, and everyone became angry at their attitude during a funeral. A few insults were thrown around, before those strange people picked up my body and left. This was mostly to piss off my family, but they also needed a new member."

"So they took me to some creepy place, where some necromancer scene girl was making an army of Zombie Ravers. She brought me back to life and made me a raver. Then, before she could do her mind control mumbo-jumbo on me, I ripped off my arm and stabbed her with the bone sticking out of the end. It turned out, when she died, we could still live. So I left the city and have been traveling ever since, meeting people both good and bad."

After his story, Pan looked at him for a moment and pulled out her sword, quickly stabbing him in the chest. He yelled out and asked, "What the hell was that for?"

She put her blade back and said, "He's telling the truth. That's too bad."

Zom-Zom turned to Pi and asked, "Is she always like this?"

"No." Pi replied, "She's usually much worse." To which Pan did a spin kick to Pi's head. He flew a couple feet, and hit the dirt road face first.

Pan looked and asked, "Were you saying something?"

"No, go on with what you were doing." Pi said, picking himself up with a groan. He looked at Zom-Zom, as if to say, _you see? _Zom-Zom looked at all of this, and sighed. This duo seemed half-mad, and he himself was beginning to wonder if he was as well for joining them to the town.

After all of this had taken place, they had reached the edge of the town, which was much larger than previously thought. The dark alleyways and grey buildings loomed closer, revealing a dark forest, or _Park_, at the edge of the city. In the park was a figure that was oddly out of place with the people in the town. She was in a dress made of leaves, which matched her hair, as well as her pale skin. She was most obviously a wood nymph.

She was yelling at another girl, this one wearing the hide of a wolf as a cloak. She was surrounded by wolves, which were attacking what was no doubt the nymph's tree.

"Stop it Pip! Get your mutts away from my tree!" screamed the wood nymph, kicking in the direction of the wolves, trying to scare them.

"Yeah right Nym, you've bugged me for the last time." The wolf owner, Pip, exclaimed.

Pan looked over in their direction and clapped her hands together happily, saying, "Well Pi, have fun at that club. I'm going to see if I can help that Pip person." And with that, she walked away, a mad grin across her face. Pi and Zom-Zom both shuddered.

Zom-Zom stretched and said, "Pi, nice meeting you, but I'm going to check out some of the parties here. Good luck with whatever." He walked in the direction of music, saying goodbye with a simple salute.

Pi looked around, suddenly all alone. He decided to find his way to the club, before either of them came back.

After acquiring a map from a local shop, he discovered that the Vampire Club was one of the most famous places in Aermaz. He headed off in the general area, scimitar close at hand. He soon found himself thinking of a few weeks after his eighth birthday, twelve years ago.

**Chapter Three: Friends no more**

It was supposed to be a great day, having fun with his best friends. There was Kel, with his laid back attitude. He had black hair similar to Pi's, except longer and more waving. He was often seen sitting down, thinking of ways to make money. He was trying to raise enough to buy a sword. He said that swords were the ultimate way to become cool.

Then there was Van. He was a thin kid with brown hair and brown eyes. He was always joking around, and could never focus. Except about vampires. He loved them, always talking about becoming one, and getting to drink blood.

That was where it all started. Van had heard from his cousin's friend's neighbor that there was supposed to be a meeting of them in town. Van couldn't believe it, he was so excited.

"C'mon Pi!", Van whined, "Kel wants to go, why don't you?"

Pi stood there and stared him down with his solemn grey eyes, and said, "Do you really expect me to believe that a group of your favorite monster shows up in our town? I mean, Undral? The most boring place in all of Alindor? Even if they did pick here, why should we go to them? That would be like a cake going to a fat guy convention. We'd be dead meat." As always, Pi was the rock to their team, the reason and the letdown.

Van looked at him and said, "But what if they let us join them? We'd be able to leave this deadbeat town, and travel the world. What do you say?"

Before Pi could tell him no once more, Kel said, "What if I let you wear my hat?"

So there they were walking to the city warehouse that night, with Pi proudly wearing an old brown pirate hat that was so big it drooped past his eyes. They walked together in a line, until they reached the warehouse. It was a large metal building that people had expected to fall down years ago.

They had already agreed that Pi would look out for people coming, and Kel would keep watch inside the building, while Van went to make the deal.

Everything was calm until Kel said, "They're nodding, and they are biting him!" Pi started walking over, when he heard Kel say almost fearfully, "No, something's wrong, they're acting afraid of something. He- he's glowing! Something bad is happening, I think." He jumped of the small ledge in front of the window and said, "Run away! I think something's gonna expl-"

The world suddenly blew up around them, cutting Kel short. Pi saw as Kel reached out, behind him a vaporizing wave, growing closer. The wave glowed with such blinding power, Pi's eyes seared with pain. Pi reached towards him, and gasped as the wave hit Kel. He was torn apart, right in front of Pi's face, down to the bone. As his face was nearly gone from view, he mouthed the word BROKEN.

As the wave came closer, Pi luckily (or unluckily) was hit by the sheer force of heated air beforehand. He was blasted some feet away from the scene, where his head was smashed against concrete. Before he fell into subconscious, he thought of what Kel's last word had been. What was broken? Pi muttered aloud, "Broken?...", and fell into the darkness.

Pi didn't know how long he'd been unconscious, but when he had awoken, he heard the sound of sirens in the distance. He tried to raise himself, but felt weighed down. He twisted his head up to see what was holding him to the ground. To his utter shock, Van stood over him.

Except it wasn't Van. This person had the same brown eyes, but as he was watching, they faded to a dull red. His hair was pitch black, choppy and longer on one side. He wore a black traveling cloak, and stood taller than Van. But it was Van nonetheless.

Pi looked at and stuttered out, "Van, how did you..." As he faltered off, he saw him holding the hat. All he could think about was getting it back for Kel. "Van, give me the hat back."

As he stood over him, Van kept one foot on his chest and said, "No. I'm no longer going to keep staying in this stupid town like you want to. You'll lead a boring life, while I shall travel the lands, killing as I wish." As Van was looking at Pi, he noticed something odd. Pi's eyes were now a bright amber color, seared in by the explosion. He leaned in close and whispered, "You're not worthy of those eyes. They reflect the power you witnessed, _my_ power. And as you'll never be up to that power, I shall fix that for you."

He raised his hand, to which Pi, in a confused state, saw his sharp talons as they would be best described. Van slowly reached forward and pierced Pi's left eye. Pi screamed in agony, and Van pushed farther in to the eye socket, finally ripping out what was most likely Pi's eye. It was seen only as a bloody unidentifiable sphere. Pi moaned in pain and fear as he saw Van reaching towards his other eye. It was then that the first police started to arrive.

Van jumped to his feet, and started walking away quickly. He turned back only once, grinning and showing his newly grown fangs, to say, "By the way. Van died in the explosion. Now there is only Vamp." He turned back and sprinted away, soon to far from view.

The police found Pi at this moment, and drove him to the hospital, as they questioned him of who did this.

All he could say was, "I don't know, but my friends are dead. _Both_ of them are."

**Chapter Four: The Vampire Club**

Present day, Pi had made his way to the club. This caused him to stop the reminiscing.

The Vampire Club was a two story complex. The first was a wide base, with plenty of room for parties, letting any Goths in. The second was a more private establishment, only letting true vampires in. There was a bouncer outside the stairs to the second floor, checking by pressing a cross to their palm. If they were burned, they proudly wore the scar into the club, showing that they payed in pain. If they were fine, the bouncer threw them off the roof.

As Pi walked to the door he also saw that night had fallen, the moon having turned a blood red for the first time in many years. As a possible omen of things to come, Pi simply ignored it. He opened the door, and he saw a large gaggle of Goths. It must have been the largest party of Goths in history. This, the night of the blood moon, was a sacred holiday for the Goths, and they took the occasion most seriously.

He eased his way into the club, sticking out from the sea of black clothing. The Goths stared menacingly at him, although none came forward, as Goths do not like to fight often. He made his way to the staircase, and punched the bouncer in the nose. The bouncer, whose nametag said Ted, slid to the ground in the fetal position.

Pi pushed into the upper level, also accidently letting in a number of fake vampires who almost were tossed away. The music immediately stopped at his presence. He walked across the floor, thick boots clapping against wood. He stopped in front of the bar and spoke to the glaring barkeep, "Get me a tombstone for my friend Van Elrik over here." With that, he used his scimitar to point towards a man sitting a few seats away from him, with the same black hair and red eyes as the day he left. This ended the confusion all around. Everyone leapt towards him at once.

Pi was surprised, so he jumped up above them and ended up landing on his back. Suddenly, he saw a black boot bring itself forwards quickly, snapping his left arm on impact.

Vamp stepped forward, moving one finger side to side in disapproval. He sighed and said, "Poor Pi, ya' never could pay attention to your surroundings could ya?" and with that, Vamp pointed to a sign next to the door that said NEVER CALL A VAMPIRE BY HIS ORIGINAL NAME.

Pi replied by muttering something that should have been censored, to which he received a lighter kick to his side, sending him flying. He hit the wall in an upright seated position, clutching the side of his chest. He looked towards Vamp, and spit blood onto his boot, sneering.

Pi picked himself up, brushing off his clothing with his good arm. Finally, he grinned, and put up his hand in mock surrender.

Of course, a few of the more dense-headed vampire fell for it. They reached forward to get the first bite, and suddenly, their heads were on the floor.

And with this, all vampires jumped forward. But they were stopped short by Vamp. He paused for a moment to look at Pi, brought out his katana,


End file.
